7 June 2021 – London, England

mum and dad are out there today. west, beyond the mountains. mum hadn’t left sydney since february 2020 – and the time before february had an abrupt end, fleeing the bushfires in kosci on nye. i can’t imagine anymore what it would be like being stationary for so long in a city. •

i like looking out at govett’s leap when i’m sad. i sat there on a beautiful drive home over the mountains, and made some billy tea on the trangia. i didn’t expect the moon to be full, but there it was. everything was quiet, the colours the same as the sunset teagan and i had when we went into the valley in april 2018. • 

we see these colours from my front window in london, on the clear quiet spring evenings. i call mum and she tells me what colour the sunrise over the red flowering gum looks like at home. it’s nice when our beginnings and end of the days align, there’s a magic in it. • every month, i see the full moon and it makes me think of home. it’s all connected. •

i have a big bruise on my hip from slipping over on the bike and it looks like a nebula. brendan told me i should draw a moon on in whiteout – she follows me everywhere. even the stars do (i said hello to them on saturday night, finally). everywhere is the same but different. • 

some of the wide roads i rode this weekend were like the roads around turramurra and ku ring gai chase. the oleanders were in flower and reminded me of the ones in sydney, except they were purple instead of pink. •

not sure what this conglomeration of stray thoughts is about except that i am grumpy today and it’s comforting to consider how all places are the same and different all at the same time. the words may not have their usual rhythm but that’s okay too. we don’t always dream in rhythm. i’m sorry to the friends who i haven’t been present for recently (i think i have barely been present in my own head and body). you flit through my thoughts all the time, when i look at the clouds, grasses, and flowers around me. • 

love and quiet times of thought to all.