we finally made it to swim. to swim is to feel strong, happy, fast. i am a fish, and the fish are around me. • the sun long dipped below the horizon, i swam in the black water, navy and orange skies reflected in the ripples i make. i swam once, twice, thrice, the water always drawing me back in for more. the third time, i opened my eyes under the water and all i could see was green and grey. bryne’s blue grey shadow above me, and then above again were the stars, slowly winking, more by the minute. • swimming is grounding, it’s healing. when everyone is gone and the noise dies away, i slip back into the water and my head clears. nothing else matters but the lake and me, the lake fills the valley, but also fills me. • lying on the pier watching the swifts and dragonflies pass at high speed overhead, it is nice to just be here for once. it’s nice just to be me.